Stay the Path

Time and time again God has directed me to do “xyz” and sadly my response has been “Why?”

I want to know why I’m doing it before I do it. So I can assess if it’s worth doing 🤔, something I can delegate, or if it can be done later you know once I’m done doing what I deem more important. 

That says a heck of a lot more about me than it does about God...I have the audacity to think MY PLAN and MY PRIORITIES outweigh God’s! As if the gift of being methodical (a gift He’s given me I might add) is greater than the one who gave it. 😦

What?!

The God who CREATED you and I...

The God who KNOWS ALL...

The God who is INTENTIONAL in everything...

I bow to that God not the other way around! How dare I think MY process would be better than His?!

Truthfully, it’s not that I think that...no, it’s just a way to push off the task because deep down....I’m afraid!

I’m afraid of walking the path with only a little lantern to light my way. I’m afraid of the twigs and branches that I may trip on. Or having to walk into the darkness on faith, having to trust God’s word as I walk into the darkness...that there will be people planted along the way to reflect His light. 

What about the darkness between reflectors?

What about those running on path to capture my attention and lead me astray?

Will I be strong enough to stay? 

Will I be rooted enough to choose God’s way?

Will I be courageous enough to ignore the naysayers or will I stray?

I’m afraid that I’m not enough! Not rooted enough, not courageous enough, not worthy enough of carrying this mantle...

So, I seek out the “how” so I’ll have turn by turn instructions with the Google Maps voice to keep me abreast of what’s up ahead. I mean who could get lost when there’s a map right in front of you (Fun Fact: I do..literally while driving 🥴)

I rather do it my way....instead of His. That way I can control the outcome, avoid the pitfalls and end up at my destination ahead of time.

Oh but there’s danger in that too! Going ahead of God’s timing that is....remember those reflectors of His light, they were meant to encourage and sometimes equip, but they stayed on schedule and I circumvented them and all the lessons I needed to learn to be prepared for the destination. I missed the character building and strengthening in Him, that would have been a result of enduring the naysayers. I missed the endurance needed for the next leg of the journey and now I’m here broken...defeated....and scared to get back up.

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Lord forgive me for circumventing your process in favor of my own. Forgive me for making myself my own god and following my lead instead of yours. Forgive me, cleanse me, and help me to stand again! Help me to walk the path you give no matter how long the journey, rocky the road, or how much of the path I can or can’t see. 

Help me to not lean on my own understanding but to trust you instead! Forgive me and help me start again, Lord!

Forgive me for anyone I’ve led astray in my attempt to forge my own path, may they be rooted and grounded in you and repaired of any damage I may have caused in the process. Equip them Lord that they have what they need especially for those I circumvented in the process. I love you and I accept my destiny Lord...I say yes to you, your ways, and your leading. Teach me to walk again Lord!

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Anyone else need to pray that prayer? 

It’s okay if you did, God is a forgiving God and He is right there waiting for you to come back into the fold sis. If you’ve gone astray, changed the plans He’s given you, or just decided to forge your own path....there’s still time to come back and He’s awaiting you with open arms sis.

I implore you to turn back, there’s far more danger out there than you think and far more people are relying on you to stay the path. You have more influence than you think.

Remember when I said, I wanted turn by turn directions? They come from other people, coaches, mentors, others who have gone before me. Nothing wrong with having those if God’s placed them on our path, the danger is when we decide to pursue them but they weren’t in the plan God gave? The funny thing is that, time and time again I see teachings on what God has already supernaturally taught me. It makes me shake my head almost in disbelief, like wow! I keep searching for a person to show me the way, when God’s already forged the path for me and although I may not understand His reasoning there is purpose in every order, step, and direction He gives! 🙌

P.S. I have absolutely NOTHING against coaches and mentors! They can be great and truly help in so many ways. But, often times they are purposely NOT included in the instructions God gives me.

P.P.S. If you see me wobbling a little don’t worry....my legs are just a tiny bit shaky because I’m #doingitscared