Suffering well WITH others

When I hear the word suffering, it sounds like this distant thing….not something that could come knocking at my door one day.

It’s something we see in our friend’s lives, and we scramble to be by their side to support them through it….but watching suffering still isn’t quite the same as going through it ourselves, is it? The sting isn’t as painful, we get to choose when to pick it up and put it down, we get to choose whether to think about it or not after all it doesn’t affect our everyday lives or decisions. The exact opposite is true for those enduring suffering….it coats seemingly every part of their lives! In the rare moments of reprieve, they are then reminded of it again.

So let me ask you….are you suffering well with others?

What are some ways that you push yourself to stand with those suffering? No really, please share your responses. There are no wrong answers, this is about us coming together to help one another and you may have a piece that someone else needs and vice versa. So, please feel free to share in the comment section below. I’ll also add a more private space for us to discuss in the app. Head here, and meet us in the forum.

Back to the topic….

What does it even look like to bear each other's burdens in times of suffering?

I personally don’t think there’s a one size fits all answer here. I don’t know about y’all, but for example, each of my friendships is a tad bit different. I mean they are all uniquely designed by God ( hey y’all 😉) and that means my interactions with them are different. I love them all to the moon and back 🤗, but my approach to them and even the way in which I show my love for them is tailored to that person, the relationship & interactions we’ve had, the ways they have expressed they need a friend to show up in their life, and God’s call on their life ( I have to consult God, they are His daughters after all and He knows what they need ).

In a similar way, I believe the way we support someone through suffering has to first and foremost be directed by God! It is VITAL that we consult God in how He wants us to show up in the person’s life at this time, especially because it is typically our knee jerk reaction to come in and “save them” instead of bearing with them in the suffering He may be allowing in their life.

Allowing?????

Yup, I said it...allowing!

Alright girl my eyes hurt lol, you gave me a run for my money on that one too sis. You been practicing? I know you have lol, you gotta teach me so I can step up my “stare down” game.

Most people don’t know this, but I’ve been suffering. I’ve endured such suffering this past year to the point that at times it felt as though I were in a fiery furnace. There were times that it felt as though I could no longer bear it, that I would pass out because it was just too much, or even worse that someone had turned down the heat only to set it ablaze after I had finally recovered. Sis….there were even times I thought I would die in that place, I genuinely thought I wouldn’t make it! Times I begged for God’s help, screamed at God for allowing it, and many times I walked away over and over again.

Glory be to God I’m still standing!

I’m still here, but had you told me I would endure such suffering I would have gone the other way to avoid it regardless of the outcome.

And sadly that’s what some of us do when others are suffering...we walk the other way, ignore it, act as if we didn’t see that post, or hear that cry out for help. I myself have been guilty of this.

Let me tell you 👉👈 and me something….sometimes that person is in the fight of their lives. They need us standing in the gap for them ( in the way God and God alone calls us to).

Sometimes that means including them in our daily prayers, sometimes it means taking them food and cleaning their house. Other times, it’s a simple text to let them know we are thinking of them. It's different depending on the person, circumstances, and factors that we may not even know about….that’s why ( yes I’m going to say it a third or fourth time 🤔) it’s so important that we consult God and bear their burdens the way He says to.

Whether there’s been a death, health condition, accident, unexpected circumstances financial or otherwise…..we are called to suffer well with others PERIOD!

Looking away is not an option, sis. God doesn’t look away from us in our time of need, how can we leave a sister or brother in their suffering to fight alone?

There’s something else we need to talk about as well….as said in the FAILURE series:

God can take care of them far better

than you or I ever could.

Does that give us an out….NO! It gives us the opportunity to participate in how He’s moving, but not by being their SAVIOR….they already have one and His name is Jesus.

As hard as it is for us to see someone in pain, we cannot try to save them from it OR fix it due to our own discomfort. Read that one again sis!

We are not God, we cannot see tomorrow let alone 2 years down the line. We don’t know why “this” has happened or even how God can turn it around for the good of those called according to His purpose.

Plus, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but umm (clears throat) we really aren’t that good at fixing things…

Like we actually tend to make situations worse when we operate in our limited knowledge to “fix” things (see just about every story in the Bible + my whole life as a fixer lol). Sis, please please please don’t add that to their plate they already have enough on it.

We can also be a little handsy with people’s process and by handsy I mean…..impatient…...myself especially! But it’s not for us to dictate the length or road of their process. Man, let’s be honest we try to hurry along someone’s process because we:

• either feel uncomfortable due to their suffering

• are tired of bearing with them in their suffering

• are judging their process and comparing it to “what we would do”

We have absolutely no idea what we would do, until suffering comes knocking at our door. Even the holiest of holy people break!

They need God not, a push from man.

Please don’t think I’m judging you or lecturing you….No I’m speaking as a guilty party warning you so you don’t go down that same path. For at one time or another I’ve been guilty of each one of these!

I’m so grateful for God’s grace over those people’s lives and for the forgiveness they extend me. I look back and am heartbroken at how I have mishandled some of God’s children. But I’m grateful that God sees fit to not allow an ounce of it to go to waste.

I speak to you sis as someone who has messed up over and over again & someone who has endured an immense amount of suffering in a short period of time. Allow God to lead them, heal them, direct their path...and if He chooses to work through you for any of it, glory to God! If not, glory to God!

Ending suffering isn't the goal....walking with those who are suffering by making ourselves available to be used by God however, whenever, if ever He chooses! That's the goal!

To those suffering now, you’re not alone!

I apologize if I have dismissed your suffering, not been there in the capacity you needed or tried to dictate your process. Sis, hold tight to God and I promise to move in the ways in which He’s calling me to in your life!

Suffering in silence? Afraid you’ll be judged or worse shunned?

Sis, God knows where you are and He has placed specific people on your path for such a time as this. Begin to ask Him to reveal who those people are and share with them so that they can begin to surround you with love, covering, and support.

We are in a time of suffering like never before, people are hurting and in search of answers. Sis, I encourage you to not just point to the answer, Jesus, but to be a living example of it.

Love Y’all