Depleted & Defeated: Going back to the source

What do you do when defeat comes to kick you smack dab in your face?

When you are already down, feeling unmotivated, and like all your hard work is for nothing?

You look back right! You take the time to look back, not just on the hard work but on what you've accomplished through that hard work! You look back at the lives that have been changed as a result.

Sure, that gives you a temporary boost, but what do you do when that wears off?

Go back to the source....GOD!

Today I'm taking the time to go back to the source. It's sad to say that I had to come to this place before I'd be willing to put everything down and allow Him to have exclusive rights to me. I had to hit the bottom, to allow Him to lift me back up.

You're probably wondering how I got here....well I've listened to myself and that self doubt more than I've listened to God. I'm seeing the shift take place in others lives while I lie here depleted unable to move forward. It's disheartening and up until today I didn't know how to get back my confidence, motivation, and will to move forward with God in the things he's created through me.

So, what happened today that changed things? I was so excited and encouraged to see the fruit of my labor ( well, at least some of it), the #Doitscared apparel. It arrived and I was like a gitty school girl, so excited I couldn't even open the package myself. But as my husband grabbed hold of the shirt, I felt my heart skip a beat and not for a good reason. I hoped I hadn't seen what I thought I saw. Unfortunately, my fears were confirmed as I laid the shirt out before me.

I had bet my hope on this shirt! I just knew that wearing it would give me the motivation and encouragement I needed to snap out of this and go forward. Instead, it sunk me deeper in the place I already was.

So, instead of betting my hope of creation, I'm turning where I should have in the first place...to the creator! I'm going to allow him to use this how He sees fit! I'm wearing this mistake, literally, to remind myself that the world doesn't stop spinning as a result of my mistakes.

Today, I'm asking for your prayers. If you have time please life me up in prayer, not for motivation or even rejuvenation but that I receive whatever God desires do with in this moment!

If this is you too, you find yourself depleted and defeated, I encourage you to join me in going back to the source!

#Godswillnotmine