Mindless Babble

My morning was rough y’all!

Have you ever had one of those mornings where the one thing you’re trying to leave at the alter grows feet and walks all up and down every thought you have?

No?! Just me?

Well, that was my morning...riddled with anxiety about finances.

Where will the money come from?

We only have this amount left

We can’t spend anymore than this

*starts frantically looking for a way to make up the gap between what we have and what we need*

All the while God’s trying to get my attention, He’s waving His arms back and forth like airport ground control on the tarmac.

He’s beckoning me to choose Him instead of grief. To spend time with Him instead of chasing down work leads. To trust Him and His plan:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

‭‭- Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

He’s trying to get me to take my focus off of our “lack” just long enough for Him to redirect me.

I don’t always understand His plan but I know we’ve never gone without. And as hard as it was to STOP, I did and boy was my demeanor less than pleasant for that next hour or so...because well I just couldn’t see it!

I can’t quite let the cat out of the bag yet, but just know that there are several things God has me working on behind the scenes. But if I’m honest I’ve been far too distracted by worries that come up, to work on them in a steady manner to even be able to see what they will yield.

But I’m trying! And what does that look like?

Well for one, monitoring what I feed myself. No I’m not talking about actual food, I’m talking about what I’m feeding myself spiritually on a daily basis.

Yesterday I allowed overwhelm to get the best of me. So instead of completeing the task at hand I chose to watch mindless babble on Facebook.🤦‍♀️ And as if that wasn’t bad enough, when I woke up at 3:45am I watched a high anxiety show instead of praying and going back to bed.

Talk about irresponsible! I fed anxiety and anxiousness, so this morning shouldn’t have come as such a surprise. No wonder it was hard to get out of bed or have a kind demeanor. I ingested arguments over and over again yesterday, what did I expect?!

So what’s the point of all of this....well for me it’s a stark reminder that what goes in is what we can expect to come back out. How can I expect clarity and peace when I haven’t given myself the opportunity to produce that?

What’s your go to when you’re overwhelmed? Is it healthy? And does it help you PRODUCE or just cope for the moment?

Love y’all