From Confidence to Disappointment, is it Me or God?

There's nothing like receiving confirmation from God! Surely, you've felt that rush of adrenaline, mixed with a burst of enthusiasm, coupled with the instant boost in confidence! Walking away shouting, "Yes, I can do this!

God is going to do what He said!

It's not a fluke, I didn't mishear him or make up the promise. Someone else heard it too, that means I'M NOT CRAZY...to believe him for this thing!"

But what happens when the world around us doesn't line up with the promise?

What happens when things appear to get worse instead of improving?

Our enthusiasm often turns to sorrow, adrenaline to anxiety and confidence to fear...

What do we do then? Ask for another confirmation?

We could but what's the point when we end up in the same endless cycle...

confirmation

disappointment

another confirmation

another disappointment

just one more confirmation

and yet another disappointment

Truth of the matter is that we want that promise NOW...and we believe God at his word until that NOW arrives. The point in time when we feel it would be perfect for God to show up!

I've been living in my NOW for months now ( ironic enough). Somehow feeling that it would be perfect timing for God to show up right at this very moment. And the problem with that is...I was so focused on Him showing up that:

1. I didn't show up!

2. I changed His promise to what I wanted it to say

3. I became blind to the other things He was doing

What do I mean, I didn't show up? I was living my life everyday wasn't I?

Yea, I was but I didn't actually perform my end of the bargain. God gave me work to do and I allowed my own insecurities to push away the work...walk away from the work....plead for anything else but the work....and try to circumvent the strategies God gave. You know the One who knows ALL!

I wanted anything but the strategies God gave me, because they required me to actually let God to do work on the inside while I worked on the outside. Neither of those seemed nor felt appealing! Honestly, without allowing God to do his work in me, I was left with nothing to be able to push through the difficulties I would face while working on the outside. I just didn't have the stamina to keep going. Nor the tools I needed!

I just didn't have the stamina to keep going.

Let's talk about #2 for a second. When I actually sit down and think about it...I did...

I changed God's word.

It's kind of like when you play the game telephone. By the time the phrase gets to the last person it has nothing to do with what was actually said in the first place. People have misheard the phrase and tried to doctor it by inserting what sounds good, some have even paraphrased because their phrase somehow sounds better, and some just had no idea so they made up something else entirely!

Well sometimes we can do that to the things God has said to us. In my case he promised provision. But I was concerned about money so I immediately made provision = money in my mind.

Let's go back to the game Telephone for a second. Think of the circle of people as the path you're on. Each time the path turns ( turning from listening to one person to trying to articulate it to the next) we can become a little leery, especially when there are hiccups and bumps in the road, like forgetting a part of the phrase. We become less confident the further we go, and what God has said begins to make less and less sense.

After all, surely he didn't mean "pickled socks", I bet he said "pickled eggs". Yea let's go with that. And then we set off confidently again, only to hit another snag, the person isn't even listening or trying. Now we have to work overtime just to make sure the phrase gets to the end. By the time we reach our breaking point ( the last person) we are weary, hardly even know what the heck God has said and have tried everything we could to get past the obstacles ...just to get HERE!

We have been using what WE know to try to make it work. But here's the thing, God is GOD all by Himself...he doesn't need our help, but rather our obedience! What does that mean? Well, had we done that "thing" he asked in the beginning we would be equipped with the patience to allow Him to work instead of interjecting ourselves somewhere we don't belong. Had we spoken what he gave us, we would have confidence to sustain us through the journey, not just one leg of it. Had we created the work ( you know the one) we would have learned perseverance while God uprooted retreat mechanisms.

I believe that we want things on our timeline so much that we can miss what God is doing!

That thing that hurt, was meant to build character, while opening up those dark places so God could HEAL them!

There are so many things that God is working on in the here and now, that we can miss when we so badly desire "the promise" over the One who the gave the promise in the first place! But know that God cannot lie, so no matter if you are staring down his works, or working what he's given you...it will come to pass. However it would go a lot smoother if we believed Him at his word and stop hoovering over head!

I can almost guarantee He's given you work to do,

Girl get out there and do it!

Work with him on this thing instead of against him! And don't worry, I'm right here with you, learning to partner with God instead of waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

And don't forget...

it's not about being perfect, but allowing him to perfect us!